Romance & Death
by terrapena15
Summary: You and James have a relationship, and hook up Carlos with your friend, Ariana..lets just say things dont play out the way they should.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey guys! So this is my first fanfic, its a James. There is this girl named Ariana, but it is not supposed to be Ariana Grande, just a girl named Ariana. Please review it and tell me what you think! ENJOY! :)_

Chapter 1  
"Making Plans"

It seemed like the perfect moment, his face so close to mine, feeling his breath on my lips, it all felt so right...so real. He stared into my eyes for what seemed like forever, until finally he crushed into me, his lips meeting mine perfectly. I loved the feeling of being held in his strong arms, but when he let go it felt like those few seconds were just a day dream. We heard someone yelling, and we quickly moved away from each other, hiding our feelings, acting like those few seconds never even happened.

A bell rang.

"That's a wrap; good work everyone, time to go home." Someone yelled loudly from across the room.

That's when reality set in; the kiss was a screen kiss, performed only for entertainment. He didn't feel anything behind the kiss, at least nothing compared to what I felt. In that moment I couldn't help but to wonder how much longer until I couldn't keep the secret that I felt our on screen romance in real life.

I went to my dressing room and changed, and got myself ready for the real world, when I almost forgot about something. Every week James and I have gone to lunch at a different place. I decided to head down to his dressing room and make sure he didn't forget. His room was at the other end of the building, but it was worth the walk. When I finally reached the door labeled "James Diamond" I knocked hard twice, and softly 3 times, our secret knock. He told me to come in and make myself at home, where I just sat down on the couch in the corner.

"I just wanted to come and make sure you didn't forget about our lunch later?" I said.

"No! How could I ever forget about my favorite co-star? Where are we headed today?"

"I figured we could try out that little restaurant around the corner? We haven't been there yet, and we could just walk there and back"

"Yeah that sounds good, let me just finish changing real quick."

I started to move to leave so he could have some privacy but he stopped me.

"You can just wait here, if you don't mind me taking my shirt off for a few seconds"

The wink he added after that made my heart flutter. He turned to pick a shirt to change into off the rack of clothes, my eyes caught him when he started to take his shirt off, he was so incredibly sexy and I couldn't help myself as to not stare as he stripped himself of his shirt and put his other clean shirt on.

"Ready?" he asked excitedly, giving me a big grin.

How could I not be?

_Sooooo whatcha guys think? There are plenty more chapters to come! Hope you guys liked it and keep reading! Let me know what you think, whether it is good or bad! :)_


	2. Chapter 2

_Hope you guys liked chapter 2! Thanks for your guys' reviews, hope this one is better! I tried to do better with my paragraphs this time! :D_

Chapter 2  
"Feelings Revealed"

It was early February so it was still a bit chilly outside, but not to bad. It felt nice to walk with him and be normal, not be in front of the camera pretending. There wasn't really anything to talk about on the way there, so we were pretty quite. When we entered the small restaurant it smelled of home cooked food, we sat ourselves and James picked a booth towards the back, all alone, even though there were only 3 other people in there.

We sat down and ordered something to eat and drink, after we ate a bit of our meal he set his fork down on the table, stopped and sat there for a minute, just watching me. Embarrassingly enough I had just taken a big bite, which made him smile and after I finished it I wiped my mouth and asked him what was wrong. He answered with a quite

"I've just been thinking about some….stuff lately"

"What kind of stuff? If you don't mind me asking." I didn't want to over step my boundaries, even though we were good friends.

"It's just I have been thinking about...us lately and just today on set" he said, avoiding eye contact with me.

"Yeah..."

I didn't really know what to say, it was awkward. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, he said

"I need to tell you something, and I don't know if you will take it well or not. But I have liked you for awhile, and that kiss on set today, was more than acting for me..." The words spilled out of his mouth as if he wanted to say them before it was to late. He looked down as if he immediately regretted saying that. He still had his hand on the table from dropping his spoon and I decided that I should take my chance.

I grabbed his hand in mine told him I felt the exact same way. He looked up and smiled at me. I didn't think I could love his smile anymore, but in that moment I did, more than ever. We finished our meal rather quickly, and when we got the bill where we usually just pay for ourselves, James picked it up and paid it. I told him he didn't need to, but he said to consider it a "first date."

It seemed like the whole day had turned into a dream, we laughed, talked, and held hands on the way back to the studio. We talked about so many different things, he asked me what my biggest secret is, and I told him that I had never been to a dance, at all. It wasn't really my biggest secret, but it was still a secret. I must have got caught up in the moment because I don't remember what his secret was, so it probably wasn't that juicy. Most of all I just couldn't wait to see where our relationship would go from here.

_Well...? Now it's time to get chapter 3 started! Hope you guys keep reading and leaving me feedback! :)_


	3. Chapter 3

_HI GUYS! Hope you like this chapter, sorry its so short! But that's why im posting this one and chapter 4 at the same time! I KNOW you guys will like chapter 4.. ;)_

Chapter 3  
"Let's dance"

The set the next week was full of romance, we were filming the Palm Woods dance, everyone was dressed up and everything. Even though James was no longer my love interest in the show, he was definitely my love interest in real life. We wrapped up filming and I was just hanging out in my dressing room, waiting for James to get all finished so we could go to our weekly date again. I heard our secret knock, and I didn't even have to tell him to come in. I was sitting on the couch, still not changed and noticed he hadn't changed from his set clothes either. He came over to me and kissed my cheek, taking my hand as he did so. He pulled at my hand and when I asked what he was doing he just said

"Follow me; I have a surprise for you"

I felt myself my blush and followed him.

He had taken me all the way on the other side of the building, to his dressing room and sat me down in his makeup chair. I asked what we were doing and he put his finger over my lips, silently telling me to not talk. He moved across the room and grabbed one of his "Famous" bandanas and pulled it over my eyes, tying it in the back. I then felt his arms pull me up and walk me around.

We walked somewhere outside for awhile, then walked inside somewhere and he stopped me. I asked if we were there yet and he replied with a satisfied yes. He took my blindfold off and I found that we were on the set of Big Time Rush, the Palm Woods Dance set. I gave James a questioning look.

"You said you had never been to a dance, or danced with anybody before, so I figured I could be your first."

"That's sweet, but why did we walk so far? I thought the set was just down the hall from your dressing room?"

He walked over to start the music, explaining,

"I wanted you to wonder, and I wanted it to be a surprise, that's why I blindfolded you"

He slowly made his way back over to me, taking me into his arms, all warm and close. "I feel so happy and safe in your arms" I said, looking up at him. He took my chin in his hands and kissed me, the most passionate way I have ever been kissed.

We danced until our feet couldn't carry us anymore, and by the time we knew it, it was already 10:00, and we both needed to get home. James walked me to my dressing room and kissed me goodbye.

_There ya go! Thanks for the reviews, I think I made some improbement? Made the paragraphs everybody wanted and I must say it does look and sound ALOT better so thank you guys! XD_


	4. Chapter 4

_SPOILER ALERT: Sex scene XD There really isnt that much but that in this chapter so if you don't want to read it, you dont have to. :) I don't really go into depth about the sex, i leave it at the taking off of the clothes, the worst that happens is that you feel james get a boner, cause i didnt want this one to be like that, but i will be writing ones like that :) ENJOY! _

Chapter 4  
"Welcome To My Home"

After filming on set, yet again I went to my dressing room, but this time something was different. I walked in and on my mirror was a note that read "I want to see you beautiful face in front of my dressing room in 10 minutes ;) , xoxo JD" Every time he complimented me I got butterflies in my stomach and my heart seemed to fly, he made me feel so special.

Those 10 minutes could not go by fast enough, but as soon as they came, I was at James' door. Right when I put my hand up to perform the secret knock, the door opened to reveal the handsome JD.

"Ready to go?" He asked, a wide smile on his face.

"Sure, but exactly where am I ready to go?"

There was no reply, he just took me away to his car, and on the way told me he had a romantic evening planned at his house, which included dinner because we got out of work to late to have lunch.

We climbed in his car and he drove us to his house, a very nice, modern looking 2 story. We pulled up and my purse got caught on the seat, but that gave James enough time to come over and open my door for me.

When we got inside he wasted no time and started making dinner, it was nice to sit and watch him cook. Everything he did was perfect; I could just sit and watch him forever.

When he was done we sat down to a romantic dinner of Chicken Alfredo with a nice bowl of soup. It was nice to sit down at a private meal, to talk and laugh, just have a good time.

After we finished he took care of all the dishes and cleaned up, to my surprise. He said he had to go take care of something and left me in the kitchen, not even a minute later he called me to come to where he was.

"I don't know where you are!" I said, confused.

"That's the point, follow the sound of my voice." after much searching I found him, standing in his bedroom.

He put his hand out, waiting for me to put mine in his. When I did he pulled me closer to him and held my face in his strong hands, looking deep into my eyes. I gazed into his beautiful green-brown eyes until he pulled me in, to crush his lips against mine. The passion behind that kiss was indescribable. I wrapped my arms up around his neck, standing on my tip toes and he wrapped his arms around my waist, still kissing me, harder than before. I felt his tongue flick my teeth, asking for permission to continue, which I granted. Before I knew it he had picked me up, and I was being carried to his bed.

He laid me down, laying himself on me. I felt our passion grow stronger as he started to kiss my neck. I put my head back, letting him know I was enjoying it. "You're so beautiful" he said, still kissing me. In the heat of the moment I mumbled

"Oh James I want you so bad." He had been straddling me and he sat up, a look of surprise on his face. He must not have thought I would let him go through with his plan. I gave him a sexy smile as I unbuttoned his teal plaid shirt, and slowly slid it off. He gave me a sexy smile back, telling me to continue. I smiled back at him and slid his white tank top over his head.

Seeing him right above me, I had a full view of his chest. His muscles were an extremely prominent feature on his body, and seeing him there in front of me made me really realize how beautiful he was, and how lucky I was. I put my hands on his chest, and he put his hands over mine, pulling me up. As we came face to face he pulled me close.

"I love you." He said between our kiss. I pulled my head away from his, slightly looking down and blushed with a smile

"I love you too, James." I said as I looked back up to him. He kissed me and slowly started to unbutton my blouse; after he was done I shook the clothing off, leaving my upper half in only my lace bra. He reached around me to get that out of the way when he hesitated

"Are you sure you want to do this? I really do love you and don't want to make any mistakes with you." He said, holding my face in his strong, big hands.

"I have never been surer of anything in my life, I love you and I do want to do this."

He then continued with my bra, getting that out of the way, when he pulled away I saw his seductive smile. He rolled off of me and took his belt off, letting it drop to the floor. As I got up he started taking his pants off and by the time I was standing up facing him, he was left in nothing but his boxers. He asked if I needed help, motioning to my pants, I bit my lip and got close to him, putting his hands on the edge of my jeans.

"I think I might. " I said, looking at him innocently. My pants were off immediately, leaving us both in only our underwear. He climbed back onto the bed, pulling me onto him. I leaned down to kiss him, it was a kiss full of passion, and he must have got caught up in the heat because he grabbed my hands and put them in his hair.

I paused for a moment, stopping our kisses. He never let anyone touch his hair, ever, so it felt like an honor to me. He looked at me and smiled, giving me a small nod as to say "Go ahead" As wonderful as his hair looked from the outside, it felt ten times as amazing.

From the moment I touched his hair, I felt him swell beneath me and beneath his boxers. He knew I felt it because I heard him let out a little giggle. "I want you so bad" he moaned and as he said that he pulled us underneath the sheets where we removed the rest of our constricting clothes.

_Did you guys like it? There is another sex scene chapter cause i felt like one was't enough LOL let me know whatcha guys think! :)_


	5. Chapter 5

_So once again this a short chapter, sorry guys! But i'm posting chapter 6 with this so you guys will be happy :)_

Chapter 5  
"The morning after"

The feeling of waking up in James arms was like magic. To open my eyes and see the man I love laying next to me, I felt so safe, like nothing in the world mattered except here and now. Last night was amazing, so amazing I'm sure James would need a lot more sleep. I woke up and put one of his t-shirts on.

I couldn't keep what happened last night to myself. I went in the other room and called the first person I thought of, my best friend Ariana. I told her how amazing he was, even though I wasn't sure because unknown to James, I was a virgin.

"He was so amazing, but you know...I can't help but wonder how many times he has done it." I was saying, when I hear James cough behind me.

I immediately end the call and spin around to face James. I didn't know what to say so I just was quite, and looked down. He broke the awkward silence with a quite giggle; I look up to see him smiling and give him a questioning look.

"What?" I ask.

"I just want you to know something" He said as he slowly walked over to me.

He wraps his arms around my waist

"You were my first time too, so I guess we were just both amazing." I smiled brightly and leaned up to give him a kiss good morning and we went to sit down on the couch to cuddle and watch TV.

_Please continue to chapter 6... :)_


	6. Chapter 6

_Another short chapter, sorry guys! _

_BUT enjoy :)_

Chapter 6  
"walk in the park"

It was Saturday so we didn't have to worry about work or anything, we just laid around on his couch and watched TV all day. He went to shower and get around, even though it was already 1:00.

While he was gone I thought to myself about how James surprised me and was always so romantic and sweet, I wanted to do something back for him. When he got out of the shower I told him we were going for a walk, I had gotten in the shower after I woke up while he was still sleeping. We packed a picnic basket full of food and headed to the park for a nice lunch.

It felt nice to hold hands and kiss in public; it was comforting to know he wasn't embarrassed by me. When we got halfway through the park, which didn't take very long, we sat down and enjoyed out picnic together. It wasn't anything fancy; just some sandwiches James made and threw in the basket.

After we finished eating we laid down and just looked up at the sky, pointing out the shapes we found the clouds making. I had no idea doing something as simple as looking at clouds could be so romantic, but with James, everything was.

When we got home it wasn't to late but we both had things to do and James drove me home. He walked me to my door and kissed me goodnight.

_Short, i know but honestly the reason I didnt put them together was because I was to lazy. \_(~_~)_/ but anyways hope you guys liked it and the next chapter is the main part of the story so enjoy! SPOILER ALERT: sex scene is after the next chapter... ;)_


	7. Chapter 7

_Big part of the story right here...get EXCITED :) I decided to post this chapter at the same time as 5 and 6, so read it! XD_

Chapter 7  
"I have a friend"

On Monday before filming James pulled me off to the side to talk with me.

"So you know your friend Ariana? I was wondering if she was single..?"

I must have made a shocked face because he regretted what he had just said.

"Not for me, I already have everything I could ever want, but Carlos is single, and I thought they would be good together"

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Oh yeah, we should totally hook then up"

James gave a look that said "I'm so smart to think of something like that"

"Awesome, I'll talk to you more about it after work" He gave me a quick kiss and we headed off to set.

At the end of the day, James and I were making plans for Carlos and Ariana. James said he had talked to Carlos and said he was in so all I had to do was call Ariana and tell her. As soon as I mentioned "Double date" she was in. The date was set for Wednesday.

There was a big basketball game on tonight so James was having some friends over to all watch together, he invited me but I politely declined. (Basketball with a bunch of guys wasn't my idea of a good time) so I just sat around the house. We figured we would just wait until Wednesday to be together.

On Wednesday morning James and I confirmed the plans with Carlos and Ariana, everything was set. When filming was over I was getting ready for our date, (we were doing right after work to make it easy for everybody) when I heard our secret knock. I opened the door to reveal James dressed up and looking as handsome as ever. He was holding 2 bouquets, 6 red roses in each. "For you my dear" he said as he handed me 1 bouquet. I gave him a questioning look at the other 6 roses.

"Well you know Carlos isn't the most romantic guy, so I'm just being a good friend" I smiled at how cute he was and suggested we should get going, Ariana met us at the outside of paramount studios. The show she was in was filmed on the same lot so we weren't far away from each other.

We went to a restaurant that was so fancy I had never been there. Since Ariana was my good friend and Carlos was James' good friend I sat next to Ariana, and James next to Carlos. We had a pretty easy going night, more fun then I thought it would be. At the end of the meal the boys paid for our meals, Carlos for Ariana and James for me. James drove us all home, dropping Ariana off at my house with me and taking Carlos home with him for some guy time.

_Oh james and you settin carlos up with ariana...where will the story go from here? sex scene next to dont excpect anything to relationship-y to happen! ;)_


	8. Chapter 8

_Here we gooooooo chapter 8! It's kinda a sex scene, thats all if is so if you don't want to read it you don't have to! XD_

Chapter 8  
"Not In The Dressing Room"

After a day on set I was changing in my dressing room when somebody walked in the door. I only had on my bra and underwear so I hurried up to grab what I could of my clothes and cover myself up with them, but stopped when I saw it was James.

"Sorry but, I'm kind of in the middle of changing right now" I said somewhat awkwardly.

"That's perfectly fine with me" He said as he crossed the room, lifting me up into his arms, giving me a big "I missed you" kiss. He carried me over to sit down on the couch I had in the corner. I was sitting on his legs when I wrapped my arms around his neck, still leaning in kissing him, more passionately this time. He moaned and put my hands at the bottom of the hoodie he was in (his set clothes from work still) and I slid my hands up his shirt to touch his perfectly sculpted chest and torso.

I slowly lifted up his shirt and broke our harsh kisses to take it off. He took off his belt and put it on the floor and started to unzip and remove his jeans when I realized something.

"We can't do this here!" I quickly said, realizing we were in my dressing room at work. He moaned and leaned up to kiss me.

"Mmm babe I think we can" He said, smiling into our kiss.

"No James, we can't. We need to your house"

We quickly put our clothes back on and he drove us to his house where we quickly picked up where we left off at the studio.


	9. Chapter 9

Another one done another one done, another chapter to read! HEY your gunna like this too! :)

Chapter 9  
"I Have A Secret"

It was about a month later, Ariana and Carlos had totally hit it off. They were the cutest couple I had ever seen (besides James and myself). There wasn't a second they weren't together if they could help it.

It was a Monday and after a long day of work I was on my way to my car to go home when Ariana called for me from across the parking lot, I told her to come over and we started talking, I invited her over to my house, an offer in which she accepted.

We were in the middle of doing our nails and listening to music when she told me she needed to tell me something.

"Well Carlos and I have been dating for over a month now, but there's been something I have been hiding from him." She said, and it must have been something important because she wasn't looking straight at me. I told her she could tell me anything, but I wasn't expecting her reply at all.

"Well... I have been seeing another guy while I'm dating Carlos."

I had no idea what to say, how could she do that too little innocent Carlos? How long had she been doing it? And why? I was in shock. I asked her how long it had been going on and she said about 3 weeks.

"Well you need to tell Carlos because he deserves to know."

She looked like she was about to cry, half of me felt bad for her and the other half was mad at her for doing this to him.

"I know I need to tell him and that's why I came to you; I don't know how to tell him."

"You just need tell him like you told me, don't make it worse then it already is."

_TWIST whoaa! _


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter ten here we gooooo

Chapter 10  
"Where Is Carlos?"

The next day Carlos didn't show up. I figured it was because he was to upset about Ariana. I had told James about her cheating on him and told him not to tell Carlos, because he did deserve to hear it from her.

The day went by and when the next day came, Carlos still wasn't at work. I hadn't spoken to Ariana because she was upset with me for not understanding, and I explained to her that cheating is not ok in any circumstance which she didn't except, therefore she was mad at me.

James and I were doing extremely well together. We had already been dating for 2 months. Our work schedule has been pretty crazy for the past few weeks so we didn't get much alone time together, because we had stuff to do, mostly James because he was so busy, including tonight.

I was sitting on my couch watching TV when I heard a car pull in the drive. It was about 11:00 so I wondered who would be at my house this late without it being very important. I looked out my window and saw James running up to my door, and I knew something was wrong.

_Oh why is james at my house at 11:00 at night?! What do you guys think happened?_


	11. Chapter 11

_Time to find out why James is at your house so late!_

Chapter 11  
"He's Gone"

I opened my door and James hurried in. He slammed himself into me, wrapping himself around me in a tight hug. I hugged him just as tightly back and asked him what was wrong. He didn't say anything and after a few seconds of continuous silence I heard him sniff.

I pulled him away from hugging me and saw him crying. I worried look washed over my face and I asked him again what was wrong. He looked down and shook his head, putting his hands to his face.

"Come here, baby what's wrong? Are you ok? What happened James?"

I knew he never cried, ever. Through his crying, which had turned to sobs I heard

"It's Carlos"

I pulled him away again, this time out of worry. He looked into my eyes before finally muttering,

"Carlos. He's gone. I found him, and now he is gone, forever."

James shook his head and cried as he made his way over to my couch.

"James, what do you mean Carlos is gone? What happened to him? Where is he? Where did you find him?"

"He's dead. He killed himself and I found him. I went to his house to see if he was okay and he wasn't. I called the ambulance and they took him off. I didn't know what to do so I came straight here, please help me."

He sobbed again and I took him into my arms, leaning back on the arm of the couch and laying his head in my lap.

"Your fine James, everything will be fine, I'm here for you baby everything is going to be ok"

I tried to manage encouraging words to him through my tears, trying not to let James know how upset I was too, knowing if he knew I was upset as he was would just make him more upset. So I just let my tears drop silently.

I don't know what time it was but during sometime in the late night / early morning James' sobs had turned to silent tears, which dried on his face and let him fall into sleep.

_Ooooo man..what do you guys think? Sorry if i made you all sad :/_


	12. Chapter 12

_Lets see how everything is gunna play out now that that happened!_

Chapter 12  
"Facing The Pain"

When I awoke he was still laying on me, cuddled closely. Usually we would wake the other up to cook breakfast together, smiling and listening to music, but this was not the case at all today. So I managed to get up without waking James up and went into the kitchen to cook us breakfast. I didn't wake him up to eat, I wanted to let him sleep, so I sat at the table eating my eggs and sausage in silence by myself, trying to take in what had happened. But no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't wrap my mind around it.

It wasn't to long later, when I was rinsing off my plate that I heard James stirring. He got up and came into the kitchen. He kissed me on my forehead and sat down to eat his breakfast which was already on the plate and waiting for him on the table. I poured myself a glass of milk and went to sit next to him. Everything was silent, but it wasn't an awkward silence. We were both so deep in thought that we didn't (or at least I didn't) notice the silence until James sat his fork on his plate, making a clattering sound. I looked and stood up to take his plate, while he sat there staring into space.

He broke the hour long silence.

"I think I'm going to go pick up Kendall and go ovre to Logan's house, so we can all be together. I need that right now."

I didn't invite myself to go, I knew he needed his alone time with them.

"Okay, whatever you need. I'll be here for you."

He kissed me a long kiss goodbye and when he left I went into my bedroom, wrapped the covers up to my chin and let it all out. I was crying and sobbing so hard, because everything had finally hit me.

_Next chapter is the funereal and now there is only 2 more chapters left!_


	13. Chapter 13

_Now for the sad part, the funeral and after this, its the last chapter! :(_

Chapter 13  
"Life Goes On"

Carlos funereal was on Sunday. James and I had not been together since Thursday morning. I decided I was not on the top of his priority list right now, considering all things that had happened.

I met James at the funereal but he was mostly with Kendall and Logan, which was totally understandable. I stood by Ariana but didn't say much to her. Part of me hated her because she cause what had happened, but another part of me felt bad for her because nobody should have to go through guilt like this.

The regular funeral things happened, people mourned and cried. It was a closed casket because he had shot himself in the head. The doctor had said that if he were to survive he would be blind and deaf, with some brain injury, because of the angle of the bullet.

James drove me to his house after the funeral and when we got inside we were laying on his bed, looking up at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry if it seems like I have been ignoring you lately, there has just been a lot on my mind right now."

"It's fine, I know"

And I did. Carlos was his best friend. Of course he was close to Logan and Kendall but not like he was with Carlos. We sat in silence for awhile just holding hands, looking up at the ceiling.

_Ok now only one more chapter! It is super short tho and is really only a paragraph and a half :/_


	14. Chapter 14

_Last chapter!_

Chapter 14  
"Things Get Better"

It was over a month since Carlos had passed. Things were extremely different now. James and I were still together, happy as ever. Turns out Carlos' incident had brought us closer. Big Time Rush had stopped filming, how could you have big time rush when 1/4 of it was missing? You couldn't.

Things did get better, and we continued our lives even though a part of it was missing.

_Ok so i told you guys it was gunna be really short! I want to thank Jared for helping me write and giving me tips! And thank you to everyone on kik and who gave me any advice! Also thank you to my rusher family for supporting me, and everyone who is reading this! I will post more very soon, I promise! If ANYONE has any ideas i will be happy to write them and I appreciate everything! MOST OF ALL thank you to my good friend __**Panda-Boo17 **__she inspired me to write and she is AMAZING! Go check out her stuff! *super duper big panda huggles to you* :D_


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